When you think you are clever but all you do is cause hurt..

Enjoying a lovely evening out with my husband when we get a text picture of this image that the daughter that has nothing to do with him had posted with public view option on her Facebook page.

Now obviously she thought she was being clever, having a dig, whatever BUT and this is key to anyone thinking of doing something similar she obviously did not think of the consequences of her actions they have included :-

Her Grandparents very upset, hurt and angry because they know this to be very very untrue.

Her Aunts and Uncles equally hurt and angry as this is their Brother and equally know this to be untrue.

Her Cousins not understanding why she could be so cruel about their really nice and kind Uncle.

Some joint contacts outraged that she has dared to wrongly slag of her Dad on Facebook.

Out of this who comes out the worse, the people she should care about, her Grandparents, her Aunts, her Uncles, her Cousins, her shared Facebook contacts.

After all the one person who it was aimed at has no idea as she unfriended him on Facebook and those that care have decided not to tell him of the latest negative action she has taken.

It is a sad time when petty actions are taken with no regard for the hurt they will cause, just to be there ‘in for a dig’, isn’t really that clever is it ?

The facts of the situation are simple. Her Mum was unfaithful to her Dad in their marital bed, whilst she was at school and her Dad was at work, her Mum then left her Dad, taking the kids with her and eventually moved in with the guy she was having the affair with, that did not work out (well cheating is not really the best start to a relationship is it), there have been others and her Dad has always kept the peace, always tried to be the supportive ex Husband and to be present in his kids lives.

This happened because he chose to put his kids first so went along with ridiculous sharing of time with the kids over holidays, not being able to see them on Christmas Day or only having half a day with them before he had to return them, Dad being the one that did all of the fetching and carrying, Dad being the one that contributed half to everything – bought their school shoes and coats every year, paid for music lessons, school trips, on top of the generous maintenance package he agreed because he wanted to ensure his kids were okay – that fractured relationship went on until he met me, there was initial concern on my suitability to be in their lives, then we moved in together and relations with his ex Wife completely broke down, her choice, her mania causing that, then the eldest daughter kept telling me why her mum hated her dad, why she had to leave as he was this, that, the other and asking did I agree – the Ex Wife calling me up with a complete fabrication of ‘things’ that had happened and ended with the Ex Wife blaming my Husband for her decision to terminate a pregnancy when they were married, they had both talked about it, decided it was not the right time, they already had two small children, were struggling financially, didn’t have a big enough home and took the decision to terminate, which the Ex Wife then arranged and did – strange that from that truly awful decision that two people made it is now told as “Your Dad made me kill your baby brother / sister, I didn’t want an abortion, but I loved him so much I went along with what he wanted” with the underlying and equally untruthful story that “Your Dad was abusive, is a bully, intimidated me” – this from the Woman that in the past when he tried to break up with her early on in their relationship physically attacked him, he did not retaliate, he ran. When they got back together and he arrived to pick her up and saw her snogging the face of someone in a car, he did not get angry, he walked away and when she asked why he had not turned up he said, I did, you were busy snogging someone else, I walked away – they worked their way through that, my husband is not violent, aggressive, abusive or intimidating, he is the softest, kindest, sweetest, loyal person you could hope to meet – the eldest daughter chooses to believe the worst of her father as told by her mother, her mum has a new partner and that person is now her dad, not her real dad, that is fine as time, maturity and life experience makes you think differently on the past so one day she may think differently.

For now she has upset people who care about her, her family, for what, to be clever, cocky, grown up – no in fact the card should have said.

Sorry I don’t acknowledge you as my father dad – I’ve been a twat ..!!

Life carries on though, any hurt or anger she hoped to cause her Dad didn’t happen, she instead has fractured her relationship with other family members, I have no expectation of her so it did not affect me, so all in all it has monumentally back-fired on her well done kiddo, well fucking done….!!! If you want to be a clever cocky bugger, you really should try harder….. You’re the one with relatives posting on your card on your facebook page telling you, you are wrong, you’re the one with hundreds of contacts on facebook who will have seen this, then seen it escalate as you did not reply to your relatives comments on your post – well done you – egg on your face, shame on your name, shamed by those that are your family because you were the twat – well done you ..!!!

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